


Pretty Penny for a Pretty Penny

by Cornonjacob



Category: RWBY
Genre: Breakdown Breakdown, Euphemisms, F/F, F/M, Prostitution, Shenanigans, inane sex, need jesus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 14:34:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10596012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cornonjacob/pseuds/Cornonjacob
Summary: Transferred all the way from FFSo the Atlesian council gives the funding to rebuild Penny, but due to barely believable porn plotlines, Penny is forced to pay off that funding with her new body.





	1. What a Beautiful Duwang

Prologue: What a Beautiful Duwang (And Author's Notes at the bottom)

Penny felt a whirring and groggy euphoria, as she awakened from her sudden hibernation. Exhausted of course, like a soldier returning from a war ended to an unfamiliar home, but also the joy of existing and the sweet sense of belonging and purpose.

As her soul reawakened and readjusted, and her newly repaired body rebooted, her memories surged forward. The surprise, pain, and the terrible nothingness that followed after her last battle came first, but she smiled upon reaching her experiences with Ruby, her first friend. Penny's diagnostics told her it had been months since they had at last met, and she looked gleefully forward to the day they would reunite.

The android began regaining her faculties next, and her senses slowly reactivated. With adorable curiosity, Penny eagerly wondered what the first things she would see and hear would be after her rebirth.

"Wow, her tits are really perky," a creepy and scrawny greaseball of a guy said in an almost comical nasally and high pitched voice.

"Fuck off, Clarence," replied Ironwood, a man who Penny considered her family.

Now Penny is the epitome of a sweet girl, and she never learned to swear, but if she could, she would have said, "What. The. Fuck."

"It's good to see you again, Penny," Ironwood sincerely stated, offering her clothes and a hug, both of which she accepted warmly, though the presence of the man she now identified as "Clarence" discomforted her.

"I really missed you and everyone else," Penny beamed.

The general's demeanor dampened and the smile on his face melted into an expression of melancholy acceptance.

"I wish we could have brought you back under more pleasant circumstances," He groaned softly, steeling himself in order to relay the horrific news to his surrogate daughter.

As Penny became visibly confused, Ironwood pressed on before she could say anything, "We don't have much time, they wanted you awake today, and you need to be ready tonight. I will do my best to explain quickly. Unfortunately, since you've been...asleep, the kingdom of Atlas has been ravaged. The government has been stretched thin and our economy is in shambles. The only way we could convince the council to provide the funds and men to repair you was if...you would be able to pay them back. And since you showed you were evenly matched with the champion, Pyrrha Nikos, and now that the world knows that you are not human, many have expressed a great...interest in you."

Behind him, Clarence's face split sideways as he displayed a disgusting grin, and it made him look a little constipated too.

"Penny, they want you to become the world's first artificial prostitute, and if you don't make enough Lien every month, they will dismantle you," He finished.

The android was shocked to say the least. Disgusted at what she would have to do, fearful of her superiors putting her down permanently, yet also curious. She had been programmed with knowledge pertaining to recreational fornication as a concept, but she had no idea of the logic nor the pleasure behind it. After a moment of quiet deliberation, Penny accepted her fate.

"It's time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences," She affirmed, ready to carry out her duty for her country and for her own survival.

"Well that's real touching and all, but General Ironwood, before we send Penny out to provide "service", could I take her and try some live testing beforehand?" Clarence interrupted obnoxiously.

"How about you take a cactus, and try some live testing with your asshole, Clarence. Honestly, if I had Penny give you a lapdance, I'd be surprised if you could even get it up, you chicken shit motherfucker. How about you take the rest of the day off and go jack it to one of your henfus or waitais or whatever you call them with your whore of a sister's credit card. Go fuck yourself, Clarence." Ironwood brutally retorted as something inside of him snapped.

"Penny, I'm sorry you had to hear that," the general awkwardly apologized, while his inferior tried not to cry.

During this time, news of Penny's availability spread by word of mouth, and she already had her first customer, who had messaged the council immediately. And so, the beginning of a butt stuff tough fluff journey began.

To Be Continued

Notes:

So I decided to split the first chapter into two because I like it way better this way, and one of my reviewers, WBGramps, asked me to talk more about penis in the second half which is now the second chapter, so this was a good opportunity.

I think this turned out way better than my last smutfic because that one was supposed to be a trollfic that turned into a smutfic, while this one was supposed to be a smutfic that I pretty much intended to be a trollfic.


	2. I Am Wood, Stupid

Chapter 2: I Am Wood, Stupid

Within the hour, Penny was being driven by Tess, the intern who Ironwood hired and who did not sign up for this bullshit. After wishing Penny luck, she dropped her off in front of the mansion of a retired hunter, going by the name of Merde Putain. Mr. Putain, in his adolescence, decided to become a hunter, as it was discovered a genetic disorder that had gone undetected was causing his sperm to become a lethal toxin, effectively rendering him infertile. And so, he became a great hunter and left his mark on the world, admired and respected, yet alone and unloved, and now forced into an early retirement at 43, due to his condition slowly deteriorating his body.

Although he was not quite the physical specimen he had been a few years ago, he liked to think of himself as a "silver fox", and a physique sculpted by a lifetime of training and fighting backed that claim up. There had been no shortage of women interested in him, but none who would stay with him knowing of his murderous testicles.

But now there was a young woman at his doorstep who he could express his love to without the fatal consequences of his horrible toxic semen, and a boyish exuberance settled in as Merde realized he was on the cusp of finally losing his virginity, even if it was to an android.

"Dong ding!" His doorbell rang, and middle aged Merde practically flew down his stairs to answer.

"Who where?" Merde rather pointlessly queried after he opened the door, but he always made sure to be polite.

"Salutations! My name is Penny! It's a pleasure to meet you! And I hope it's a pleasure for you too..." Penny greeted in her usual cheerful manner, sultrily adding in the last part as she had been taught by Tess before they had departed.

Penny wasn't entirely acting however, she did find her client quite attractive. Lewd thoughts and anticipation ran through her circuits.

"WOW! HOT a What Baabhabhiat," she thought to herself.

Without warning, Merde scooped Penny up in his arms, bridal style, to which she yelped in surprise.

"I've always wanted to do this," He explained as he carried her up the stairs, smiling with great joy. Penny found herself smiling as well from his tender treatment.

Unfortunately, the retired huntsman underestimated how heavy a metal body is. His body, ravaged by the forces of age and poison splooge, forced him to his knees, before he gently laid the android down and stared at one of the steps morosely, with embarrassment. Penny cupped his face and lifted his head, and beamed at him, before returning the favor and picking him up in the same manner. Merde could not believe it, touched by Penny's thoughtfulness and care, he could not hide the blush brightening his face, and he hugged her as she took them up the last of the steps. He also had a raging erection.

"Which room would you like us to engage in, sir?" Penny inquired of Merde, snapping him out of his trance.

Penny's client pointed towards the door at end of the hallway, directing her into the love nest he had been assembling. He had clearly put effort into the preparations, from what Penny could see, there was a large, decorated, and comfortable looking bed, a speaker presumably set to play generic sensual music, a few bottles of scented body oil, and a set of wine for post-coitus but it was high quality rich people wine.

"What are we going to do on the bed?" Penny asked coyly, hopping onto and lounging coquettishly on the bad, making a light 「pomf」 sound.

"Whatever the hell we want." Merde responded, cupping her shoulders and pulling her in for a deep kiss, one filled with years and years worth of pent up passion. Precious Penny leaned in and returned the kiss, both of them closing their eyes to everything but eachother and letting their tongues perform a mad dance as the heads of a King Taijitu. It would have been fucking disgusting except the woman was an android and the man had shifted the straps of her overalls off her shoulders so now it was hot I guess. Also the speaker started playing Freebird because I told it to play Freebird.

Merde finally pulled back after about 1 minute and 27.04 seconds, roughly speaking, and grinned as his gaze roamed across Penny's quite literally sculpted figure, grinning with excitement as he undressed her with his eyes, then with his hands, and then even a bit with his teeth too, and he beheld his prize, naked and vulnerable and combat ready.

Nearly quivering with excitement, the huntsman activated his Semblance as his trousers became too tight for comfort. His unique ability teleported all of his garments to the floor, leaving him just as bare as Penny. I'm sure there was more to his Semblance and even if that was it, I'm sure an accomplished professional such as Merde would have figured out a way to make the instant transportation of whatever he was wearing to a nearby location useful in the occupation of slaying monsters. I honestly do not care to explain more deeply or arrive at a better creative ideal, and more importantly, this is convenient because it is far more difficult to fornicate while fully clothed. Fuck clothes.

"Why, this is simply phallitastic!" Penny thought to herself in a weird voice. She had known what a custard launching cupcake on a shaft was, and even had several diagrams and examples of male human and faunus' erect bucking baloney ponies, this was the first time she had actually seen a real, fleshy, grade A or B meat, completely expanded, throbbing 「PENIS」. Merde's man meat was at least 5 to 19 inches long and somewhere around 1.1 to 3 inches thick depending on how unrealistic this smutfic is feeling, and she stared at it in what might generously be called awe but was more likely an intense feeling of inadequacy, because Freud's theory of penis envy is totally a real thing. The shaft possessed a healthy tint, the foreskin had begun to retreat, it smelled faintly of testesterone and sunlight, the scrotum had a smattering of facial hair and was slightly darker, and the left testicle was slightly larger and hanged a little lower. All in all, it was a dick, and there is nothing wrong with that.

Encouraged by Penny's ambiguous yet sexy expression as she stared at his not floppy super boppy, he pressed it against her face, and she used her hand to guide it into her waiting mouth, activating the upgrade module she had gotten for her blowjob skills installed on her tongue, the Turbo Tickler 9001. Penny powerfully pleasured the peen with precision, the stimulating movements of her tongue and hands happening increasingly rapidly, at the very least 2 or 3 times, pushing the huntsman deeper and deeper into the path of sins.

He grabbed Penny's head with more than one of his hands and pushed himself in deeper as he reached his limit, and his toes curled so intensely it fucked up the nice, expensive bed sheets. He released his battery acid flavored semen into Penny's mouth, and it tasted horrible, like battery acid. However, due to the nature of her body, the only harm she suffered was the trauma of having to taste his awful John juice.

On a side note, Penny swallowed, which would be very important because in order to earn extra money from the council of Atlas, she was to procure a sample of the Mr. Putain white stain so that it could be synthesized and used in biological warfare. This is not very relevant right now, but this tidbit of information probably distracted you from noticing that the huntsman had shifted positions and was now thrusting into his android partner's simulated sweet spot with his double decker pussy pecker.

As they both lost their virginity at once, Merde groaned intensely and increased the vigor of his movements, while Penny automatically tightened the walls of her crotch valve and played one of many erotic moans that poor Tess had to record from different Atlesian porn stars and upload into her database. Mind you, they were now engaging in consensual intercourse utilizing the missionary position, so it was very wholesome I suppose.

As his desire increased along with his passion, he deepened his movements, and the no longer virgin kissed Penny deeply yet again, virtually consuming the bottom half of her face, which is kind of revolting as he had just sprayed that area with his ass flavored cake batter, but that's his business.

Powerfully entering in and out of Penny's hand forged folds, he began to feel the build up of another wonderful ejection of reproductive bird shit, and as he acted harder and faster on his desires, his piston rubbed sweet Penny in all the technically correct ways, triggering a pre-programmed reaction in her circuitry, sending a message to her motherboard and core to release more vaginal lubricant, further enabling her client's lust filled lunges. This initiated a very school inappropriate cycle of fornication that would have been endless if it were not for the fact that Merde had just screamed loudly as if going to war, and released, completely filling the android with the sour donut glaze extracted from his doughy nuts.

They lay there for an exceedingly long moment, amongst the sweat soaked sheets, panting heavily and basking in the afterglow of their sacred first experiences. The client seemed even more exhausted and satisfied than Penny, and so she pushed him off of her, and cleaned herself off with the window washer bits that had been installed into her thighs.

"That was sensational, sir! Would you like to proceed to another position and mate once again?" The constructed courtesan asked dutifully, knowing that after an experience like that, he would be sure to say yes.

Except he did not, and would never again. He had died of a heart attack as his dude balloons had been completely emptied. He died happily, and the contract was fulfilled.

Current Progress: 20,000/? Lien Obtained

To Be Continued


	3. Who In Face Are You?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a very special boy

Chapter 3: Who In Face Are You?!

"You ever think about fucking a dragon, Tess? I know I do, like, all the time." Clarence began the chapter with.

"Sir, please focus on the task at hand. I would appreciate your assistance in sanitizing Penny before the next client gets here." The beleaguered intern replied, appearing decidedly unamused and professional.

"Aww man," Clarence continued instead of being the slightest bit helpful, "I also want to fuck a maid. What if the dragon was a maid? Holy shit, I am so hard."

"BOI! I'mma bout to kick your ass if you don't fuck off with that weeb shit, probably take like 200 of your bitch ass shrimp dicks to fill out a real pussy, nunna those lil thumbtack holes you poke in yo grease drenched body pillows. Shiet, I'll stomp your cheeseball head in if you eva come at me with that deviantART miscellaneous you 9 to 5 wanking, yiff mongering, spaghetti shitting, pube collecting butter fiend." Tess finished, mildly out of breath and with homicide in her eyes.

Before Clarence could shit himself and contaminate the maintenance room any more than he already had, the intercom buzzed to life, and relayed General Ironwoods orders.

"Mr. Llame, Miss Inturn, the client is here. Thank you for your good work. Please wake up Penny for briefing." He instructed.

Funky machine noises could be heard as the two engineers rebooted Penny, and her jade LED eyes glowed as she hummed with life.

"Salutations, General!" She greeted, ready to receive instructions.

Ironwood took a moment to make sure she was ready before beginning, "Good morning, Penny. Your new customer is very important- an internationally wanted criminal and a political enemy of our government. His name is Adam Taurus, former high ranking member of the White Fang before being exiled from the terrorist organization for unknown reasons. He has offered to reveal extremely sensitive information on the group in exchange for, ahem, a night of your company."

"I understand, sir." Penny confirmed.

"Although this opportunity is too important to pass up for the Council, make sure that outside of his "activities" with Penny, he is made to feel unwelcome and uncomfortable in our nation. The man is a worm who would be rotting in prison if it were up to me."

"Oh, in that case," Tess piped up, grinning smugly, "Clarence, go welcome our customer."

"So I know that in physical appearance and their household dynamic, she is the child and the human and dragon maid serve as her parental figures, but she is technically hundreds of years old of course, so it is morally acceptable to want to fuck her, right?" Clarence began the chapter's only line break with, leading Adam Taurus down the hall to the fornication cell.

Adam strode behind him with his longboi legs. Due to his mask, his face did not give away how much he wanted to die at this moment.

"Doesn't a cool guy like you have a whole harem of cat girls at the White Fang? Why are you hiring Penny?" A certain turd asked, reasoning that Adam probably had at least twenty orgies a day, including anal intercourse, because he looked like Clarence's original character on deviantArt who also had at least twenty orgies a day, including anal intercourse.

At this, he stopped walking and turned to face the fourth wall.

"I would never disrespect my sisters of the White Fang. But sometimes, I need to relieve my urges and...take the edge off."

A sad little man sat at his computer, and having read the dialogue he had just written, put a hand to his face. After reconsidering his poor life choices, he continued writing the character Adam Taurus, owned by the company Rooster Teeth, entering the specially made sex chamber.

Adam Taurus, a character owned by the company Rooster Teeth, entered the specially made sex chamber. It was pretty rad.

"Salutations! I am Penny, your personalized prostitute, and you must be my special butt buddy!" a familiar and cheerful, yet lewd voice rang out. Upon hearing the sweet nectar of the robot's voice, the White Fang officer hardened his extra large pelvic ear cleaner that actually cleans larger orifices, but is also deceptive in its naming as after it is finished, the organic canal it has been thrust into becomes dirtier rather than pristine, which is also a lie in this instance as the openings Penny possessed that could harbor Adam's tool were made of synthetic skin and not true human flesh.

Adam's dribbling dart sprung up, the same way a smart and self starting, hard working bastard, orphan, son of a whore, and a Scotsman paves his way to a shining victory and spot in history springing up to a beautiful future, with such catastrophic force that its pretty baby-pink colored head tore off his black pants. The rest of his dark outfit, not including his mask, quickly followed, leaving his slender and seductive frame exposed, most prominently his 12.1 inch long non-metric system conforming salty cellar slapper. Except he removed those garments with his hands because this is a realistic story.

By this point, Penny knew exactly how to respond when confronted with a salami specimen of her client's size.

"Now that's a katana!" She stated with an innocence belying the corruption of a generation of baby boomers.

At that, Adam could not hold his urges in check any more. He dashed past Penny in an instant, slicing through her clothes with his Sergeant Stiffy, but it took a few seconds and they stood still during that time before the fabric actually fell apart, like in a bunch of Clarence's favorite animes. He proceeded to feel up the juicy, drooling walls presented to him.

"Sir?" Penny questioned.

"Chotto a minute, the wall is damp and dripping," Adam responded as he rubbed the darker area on the wall, "I think there's a leak. It's a good thing I got those clothes off or you could have gotten them moist."

He shivered a bit at the thought of wet socks, his shingle dingle waving with the movement. That was when Adam remembered the special sex deal where he can fuck the offer in half and nut in the butt twice if he called within 30 seconds of the door to door Penny salesman's offer. He practically teleported behind the android, affixing a pair of fake cat ears atop her head.

"Psssh...nothin personnel...kid..." Adam sneered.

"M-Masaka!" Penny internally screamed at higher volume. "He's fucking fast!"

And then Adam, a furry degenerate, saw through the shitty slitties of his mask what he had done to Penny, and his beefy big boy baby batter blaster fully loaded.

"Sabaku no wa ore no Stando da!" Adam bellowed as if he was being really loud, because his sausage shaft of space time was Standing stiffly, like the oppressed yet brave faunus who remains firm against the winds of human prejudice, erect in shining justice, the golden spirits, and the hope for great days. It must have been at least a foot long and worth at least five lien, which would make sense as the man is a bull faunus. Or it would make sense, if it were not canonically confirmed that faunus only have one animal trait. However, people keep making shitty original faunus characters with multiple animal traits anyway, and Adam Taurus pretty much is a shitty original character who could have been born in a middle school computer lab. A red and black color scheme is the root of evil and the fall of God, the original creator of shitty original characters. I mean, some of the earliest life forms looked absolutely ridiculous, and in some cases, literally edgy, and now are hidden in undiscovered depths at the bottom of the sea or driven to extinction by the Great Flood of Genesis, so that nobody will remember God's deviantART phase. Also, Adam had a pair of testicles enveloped within a scrotum at the base of his man plunger female puncher, but those will not be relevant until he actually ejaculates. That is some good shit.

The biggest wanker of the White Fang pounded his pelvis into Penny's Mr. Clenchy more forcefully than his train crashing through Mountain Glenn. He required no lubricating agent of any sort, as his puberty forged katana was sharp enough to penetrate the very concept of sodomy.

"WoOOAoAOOOAaOOAaOuAUOH!" Adam screamed in exhilaration as he got a quadruple combo kill and 5,000 experience points within the android ass. A trophy and some unlockable cosmetics appeared in the room for naughty terrorist man, when something stupid happened.

The chainsaw wielding White Fang lieutenant burst out of the gross and wet section of the wall, foot first.

"Sir! Holy fuck!" something stupid growled out in his weird voice that changes between his appearances, mask muffling the incredible amount of spittle from his gaping maw. It appeared that the eternal wetness that was the ruined wall had been pure sweat.

And so, the lieutenant tried to join in from the other side by making this wholesome twosome into a shithead sandwich, but there were 2 issues with his choice. First of all, Adam paid for fucking everything, and now this Big Guy 4 U was trying to freeload off of the special erectable seed receptacle he cried and bled for. Second, he smelled like a prolapsed anus made out of armpit flesh. The Lieutenant's body odor might as well have been 2 magnets with the same poles facing each other, because it was completely repulsive. His stench was like the opposite of a black hole because instead of sucking light in, it radiated darkness. His pungent stink was almost identical to your mother because it sucked and everyone hated it.

Adam punched the man in the face, but the force broke his cardboard arm, so he resorted to screaming in agony as he lost control and ejaculated. Unfortunately, the pressure built up in his MASSIVE DICK propelled him through the hole in the wall and and down several flights of stairs. The Lieutenant, to his credit, was mildly concerned about his employer.

"I told you man, I TOLD you about stairs!" Faunus Yatsuhashi shouted as he scooped his superior up in his Anchor Arms and ran out the building.

Soldiers and scientists tried to stop the dude, but he smelled so much like your mom, they all keeled over and lost consciousness. He stole a large sum of money while Penny just sat there, because the engineers replaced all her combat capabilities for a lactation function and a gumball dispenser.

Current Progress: Less than 20,000/? Lien Obtained

To Be Continued


	4. Get a Feeling So Complicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The promised Nuts and Dolt ship finally happens I guess

Chapter 4: Get a Feeling So Complicated

Ruby Rose was having an excellent time abusing her Semblance by speeding through all of the pet shops in Vale and touching all of the dogs. Sadly, her escapades ceased once she was hit by a car, and her incredible speed caused her to crash through three poles, a street light overhead, a group of underprivileged Faunus, five garbage cans, and the concept of homosexuality. She counted herself lucky that she did not sustain more severe injuries, as she had ended up careening into a young paraplegic girl in a wheelchair, who had stopped Ruby's momentum with her life.

The main protagonist of the web animation RWBY got up and brushed the bone fragments off of her cape. Wanting to treat herself after nearly damaging her dead-mom keepsake, she pulled Weiss' credit card out of her hammerspace zone. She had not learned her lesson, so she zoomed away posthaste, slicing through the arms of a loving couple and their two small children with her body. She could hear the childish melodies she was following in the distance, somewhat distorted by the air resistance, and she increased her speed as she neared her destination.

The huntress darted in front of the source of the sound, and the driver of the ice cream truck panicked and swerved, crushing three entire pedestrians. As he was too busy sobbing and hyperventilating to take Ruby's order, she helped herself to two ice cream cones. She violently enjoyed both mammary pudding snacks using her big face hole, casually strolling down the sidewalk and being careful not to get stains on her precious cape.

"Hey Sugar," a prostitute drawled in a way that was either morbidly seductive or intriguingly constipated. "I think you could do a lot sweeter than those cones."

"Back off lady!" Ruby rebuked, shoving the streetwalker into a dumpster. "I'm eating both of these! Buy your own!"

But it was far too fucking late at that point. The prostitute had used her slut of hand techniques to swap out Ruby's titty juice treats with two hardened condoms full of dude syrup. She dissolved into the shadows of the dumpster.

"Ah fuck, I can't believe you've done this", Ruby sighed with one gallon of exasperation.

Some unsavory liquids from the prostitute had gotten onto the cape of the huntress, such as seminal fluid and some guacamole, so she wiped the shit stains off on a passing child and also stole the deed to someone's house.

In front of the whore house for prostitutes who get paid to fornicate and also hookers, Ruby prepared her tight, moist, succulent lungs.

"I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!" She bellowed in her best white mom voice, which was surprisingly accurate because her's has been fucking dead for at least two years, probably more than four.

A sleek woman responded by exiting the building and posing in front of Ruby. She looked exactly like Ciel Soleil except she her garments were much finer, and she wore a new golden watch of considerable value that completed her attire. Her name was Ciel Soleil.

"I am a very busy woman, and I do not have time for this nonsense. Do you think an oaf such as yourself can just barge into this official Atlas brothel I manage and accost one of my workers?" She asked with exasperation, checking the time on her wrist.

"Nice watch," Ruby replied as the angles on her face sharpened, "Too bad you won't be able to tell the time on it after I break it. Break your face, that is."

"You seem rather amusing...I'd love to stay and hear your story," Penny's former partner stated, "But I'm on a tight schedule. I only have about twenty seconds."

Ruby seemed disproportionately offended that Ciel wanted to make money for her government rather than deal with her. In a blur of crimson, she rained a flurry of punches at the madame. Ciel's body began to buckle and break under this tempest of violence, so rapid and turbulent that it almost seemed as if the huntress had stopped time itself.

At the end of the beatdown, Ruby grabbed her victim's wrist, pulled her close, and taunted her.

"Yare yare. Now that I see it up close, your watch looks like crap. But you don't have to worry about that. After all, I'm about to make it look even worse. Your face, that is."

Ruby high-fived herself with her hands and slam dunked Ciel's limp and unconscious form down the throat of a basketball hoop, where she got stuck.

"Ruby? Is that you?" the voice of the best girl sounded.

Ruby tackled Penny in a hug as she realized that she was alive again and cried tears of joy and exhilaration, so unconditionally happy and thankful that her treasured friend was back. Nothing could compare to this pure jubilation of Ruby, this unadulterated relief as clear as morning dew and bright as burnished silver.

Then for fanservice purposes, their nipples rubbed together and they started moaning in delight, as if they were writing fake emails about a fake friendship and possibly some little bitch named Evan Hansen. The two friends parted from their embrace, and Ruby's jaw dropped as her silver eyes took in every inch of Penny, and her face went cape red and she sprinkled a small amount of dinkle from squirting a combat spurt in her combat skirt.

Penny looked exactly the same as she had the last time Ruby saw her and was wearing the same clothes but Ruby had her blood up from beating the shit out of someone so she got hard anyway.

Transfixing her friend's shiny metal bosom with her silver eyes of the asshole warrior, Ruby used Leer on the blouse covering Penny's electric sheep, lowering the Defense of the cloth by one stage. Those stupid silver eyes kindly told the top to fuck off, and they did, revealing gold glompies, bronze badoinks, copper clappers, silver slapchops, aluminum assets, titanium tits, magnesium mammaries, and whatever other sordid euphemisms for breasts I can combine alliteratively with metals.

Sliding Weiss' credit card down the scanner in Penny's cleavage, Ruby completed the transaction for the buy one get one free gigantic fucking deal and maybe a side of five foreplays. Then Jacques Schnee peered into the privacy of his daughter's bank history and saw the purchase of pussy, and thought his daughter was a homo and a lesbian and probably dead from Faunus super STDs. He never loved his dead gay daughter in the first place, so he made his son the heir of the Schnee fortune, but not before beating the Shitley out of Whitley for existing.

Current Progress: 20,000 Lien+Weiss' Allowance/? Obtained

To Be Continued


End file.
